Adversity Exposed

Unknown-3It is often said that it’s not what happens to us but how we respond to what happens that makes all the difference in the end. When it comes to facing adversity, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

When facing adversity it’s important to acknowledge that we always have the freedom to choose how we respond to people, events and circumstances. We can respond in a very negative or limiting way, or we can choose to respond in a more optimal and productive way that can potentially open doors and windows of opportunity that we weren’t aware of before.

To dig even deeper; all of us have the freedom to choose our own beliefs, words, thoughts, and the attitude we bring into every situation. In fact, we also have freedom to choose the level of effort and determination we bring into every moment.

When you have a thought, this immediately triggers feelings. In fact, the internal dialogue you have with yourself manufactures your emotional experiences. Therefore if you think/talk negatively about a situation then this will typically cause you to feel stressed, fearful or overwhelmed. And this certainly has nothing to do with the situation, but rather everything to do with how you have interpreted the situation.

Given all this, it’s clear to see that how we handle adversity has nothing to do with what happens to us, but rather everything to do with the “kind of person” we bring into each situation. As such, it’s absolutely paramount that we accept full responsibility for the role we play in each moment. You are after all in the driver’s seat of your life, however it’s easy to forget the power you have when you respond emotionally to our circumstances.

With that in mind, it’s important to acknowledge that the only thing that matters is:

             How I see the obstacle I face…

             How I respond to this adversity…

             How I maintain my composure when facing adversity…

             The story I tell myself about what is going on…

It essentially always comes down to the story you tell yourself. In fact, it is the story that will either empower you or deflate you emotionally; it is the story that will either help you move forward or hold you back; it is the story that will either open the doors to opportunity or send you into the pits of despair. Adversity has absolutely everything to do with the story! The story you tell yourself is what effectively determines your next steps moving forward.

Paying the Price

Paying the PriceI once heard about a young man who, in his eagerness to make it to the top, went to a well-known millionaire for advice about how to get there.

“What is the first reason for your success?” he asked.

“Hard work,” the millionaire replied.

Disappointed, the inexperienced fellow responded, “What is the second reason?”

We laugh at this young man’s desire for a quick-and-easy formula, but his response brings up a much more serious question for people who aren’t doing what they know they’d like to do: Are you willing to pay the price to get there?

You’ll never live the life you’ve always dreamed of at a bargain-basement price. In fact, the cost is often much higher than most people are willing to pay. I’ve seen more examples of this than I can count. People start chasing their dreams with energy and enthusiasm, only to fizzle out when they realize how much effort is involved. If they had counted the cost first; if they had seriously investigated what it would take to make them successful in that area, they may have gone another direction. Instead, they’re right back where they started, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

The way to avoid this scenario, of course, is to count the cost of doing what you’d like to do before you begin. So what does the price tag include? Here are just a few items:

1. Hard work
There’s no way around this.  You can’t fulfill your dream without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. You also will have to spend time, large quantities of time, working diligently and doing things you don’t particularly like in order to prepare yourself for the future you want.

2. Learning
Doing what you love will require you to be teachable, acquire some new skills, and polish your existing abilities. Are you willing to devote the time, effort and energy to making that happen?

3. Discipline
It takes focus and commitment to pursue your dreams without getting sidetracked or giving up. Success doesn’t just happen. You have to be intentional about it, and that takes discipline.

4. Change
At the surface, this might not seem like a significant price. As we all know, change isn’t easy. It can cause stress, anxiety, uncertainty, and a host of other uncomfortable emotions.     However, change almost always produces growth.

5. Emotional Stamina
On your way toward doing what you love, you’re going to stumble and you undoubtedly will take a few hard falls. When that happens, you’ve got to have the intestinal fortitude to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get going again. Do you?

As you think about the price of doing what you want to do, remember that the only way to find out for sure how much you’ll have to pay in each of these areas is to find someone who is living what you’d like to do and ask them about the cost. Ask them what they DID in order to DO what they do.

The young man in our introduction got it partly right, he went to someone for advice about how to be successful. Sadly, his response shows that he was unwilling to pay the price. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

Now the ball is in your court. If you know what you want to do but aren’t doing it yet, stop making excuses and start taking steps to make it happen. Don’t wait until everything is perfect to begin because everything will never be perfect. Don’t put it off until tomorrow because tomorrow you’ll be tempted to put it off until the next day.

Just start.

And as you begin, remember these three truths about the end result.

1. Doing what you want to do will be different than you imagined it would be.

2. It will be more difficult than you ever imagined.

3. And it will be better than you ever imagined.

I can assure you that when you’re doing what you really want to do, it’s not work. It’s fun because you’re reaching your potential and you’re helping others reach theirs. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Stop Letting People…

Stop letting people dump on your dreams. Life will test you to see how serious you are about pursuing your dreams.  And sooner or later you’re going to face negative feedback from others.  When this happens, remember not to let anyone crush your spirit.  If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.

Stop letting naysayers talk you out of putting in the extra effort. Hard times often lead to greatness.  Keep the faith.  It will be worth it in the end.  The beginnings to great things are always the hardest.

Stop letting people bully you. Bullying is not OK.  Period.  There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who you are as a person.  Sadly, some people just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on it.  What you have to do is have the nerve to stand your ground.  Don’t give them any leeway.  Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.

Stop letting friends be untrue to you. What is a true friend?  Someone who loves you no matter what, but still inspires you to be a better person.  Be a true friend to others, and keep only true friends close to you.

Stop letting people keep you bitter. Remember, the first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.  Always.

Stop letting people use your past to poison your present. Life is too short to tirelessly struggle with old news and those who refuse to let it go.  Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior.  Keep moving forward.  Practice forgiveness.  Letting go of the past is your first step to happiness.

Get Off Your Butt.

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I’ve met a fair number of successful, self-made people in my life. They all work in different industries, and came from different backgrounds and walks of life. The one thing they all have in common? They all work hard. And they all work a LOT.

In my opinion success has always been about doing work. The old ‘right place, right time’ is what jealous people say about successful people. Yes, many successful people did catch an awesome ‘once in a life time’ break at one point in their lives, but when that opportunity came about, they were ready, because they were working, and once they said ‘yes’ to that opportunity, they worked even harder.

Successful people work hard. Yes, we can argue quality over quantity, and doing the ‘right type’ of work, but all things being equal, more work is generally better than less. And yes, I know the trend in motivation right now is to talk about doing less work, but let’s face it – it takes a lot of hard work to get to the point where you can preach to people about doing less work.

There is no substitute for hard work. It’s the secret ingredient to most people’s success – and it’s what will help you in every area of your life. Don’t be afraid to do work. Just get up off your butt and do it.

The Importance of Willpower & Self-Discipline

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The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins. Living this life requires and enormous amount of willpower and self-discipline.  I truly believe that willpower and self-discipline are two of the most important factors in determining your success and failure. If you or someone you love has a history of making poor choices that continue to attract trouble at home, school or in the community, it is most likely due to a lack of willpower and self-discipline.

For anyone to overcome poor decision-making, they will eventually need to have a certain degree of willpower and self-discipline.  Willpower is the ability to control or reject the desire to indulge in harmful, unnecessary, and useless habits. This allows you to arrive at a decision and follow it through with perseverance, until success is eventually achieved.

Self-discipline is the companion of willpower. It gives you the stamina to persevere through whatever you encounter. It gives you the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. Self-discipline enables you to reject immediate satisfaction, pleasure or comfort, to gain something better.  However, you must recognize that it will always require great effort and time.

Everyone has inner, unconscious, or partly conscious impulses that can cause you to say or do things you might later regret. On many occasions, people just don’t think things through before they talk or act. By developing the character traits of willpower and self-discipline, you become more conscious of your inner, subconscious impulses, and gain the ability to reject them, when they are not in your best interest.

These two character traits help you choose your behavior and reactions, instead of being ruled by them. Portraying willpower and self-discipline won’t make your life dull or boring. In contrast, these two character traits will help you will feel more powerful, in charge of yourself and your surroundings, happy and satisfied.

Simply put, willpower and self-discipline are two of the highest personal qualities you can possess and they will lead your way to self-mastery.